Body Dysmorphic Disorder, High Self Esteem or just plain wrong

For as long as I can remember, I always thought I was 5’9” not sure where I got that number from though.  It just seems like an appropriate height for me. I mean, how can I be anything less. Whenever I look in the mirror, I see a tall beautiful woman – statuesque almost. Has my years of wearing heels got me fooled into believing I’m actually taller than I am.

It can’t be. I especially refuse to believe it when the doctor told me my real height a few years ago– it was astonishing how off I was – gross miscalculation. I’m not sure what he’s talking about but I am so not that number he just wrote down on his chart. I refuse to admit it, I guess admitting I was shorter than 5’9” will result in me calculating my weight to height ratio which will equate to me being too fat for my height.  Lord knows, in my head I am 5’9” and I weigh 125 lbs. Yes you heard right.

Don’t get me wrong, I know what my real weight and height are; I just refuse to admit it in public not even to my doctor. I understand that I’m being shallow but can I please have this one thing. So yes, just so you know I am going to lie about my height and probably my weight too.